So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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