I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
did i just pee glitter
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
