yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
