Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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