No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize