Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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