I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
