Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
