Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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