what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
