Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
