Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The beer is more important than you right now.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
