he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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