I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Randomize
