WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
