Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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