Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
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