And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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