Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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