Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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