I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my being single is dangerous.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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