Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
