I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
