I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
