just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I just want nice things and good sex
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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