Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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