oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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