I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
