Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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