worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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