Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
