Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Randomize
