please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
