She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
