I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize