So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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