sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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