hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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