He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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