I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have fence marks all over my body
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
