I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I didn't notice because vodka
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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