Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
