a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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