I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
