I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
