but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
