I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
