Apparently you make a good broom.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
