I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
