I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
