im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
