I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
