He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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