I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
