Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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