I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm too high and old for this...
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