yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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