The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
