Where did you get a picture of my penis
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
