I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
