My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
